Using Books and Play to Teach Emotional Skills

One night, my child was having a day.

We’d had tears over socks.
Then over bath time.
Then over which cup was “the right one.”

By bedtime, I was done. I pulled out a story about a little bunny who got mad when things didn’t go his way. Honestly, I just wanted to get through the bedtime routine.

But as we read, something shifted.

We got to the part where the bunny stomped and shouted, and my toddler quietly said,

“He mad… like me.”

We talked—just a little—about what the bunny did when he was angry, how his grown-up helped, and what he could try next time. No lecture. No “You shouldn’t act like that.” Just the bunny and his big feelings.

In that moment, I realized how powerful Using Books and Play to Teach Emotional Skills really is.

Books and play take the pressure off. They give our kids a chance to explore feelings safely, through characters and pretend stories, instead of in the middle of a meltdown. And they help us feel less like we’re nagging and more like we’re connecting.

In this post, I’ll share simple, doable ways to use stories and playtime to help your child understand their feelings, practice coping skills, and build emotional confidence—without turning your home into a therapy office. 💛

1. Why Books and Play Are Secret Emotional Superpowers

Before we jump into the “how,” let’s talk quickly about the “why.”

Why books help

• watch characters feel mad, sad, scared, jealous, proud
• see how those characters handle those emotions
• learn that feelings come and go—and can be managed

Research has found that reading fiction is linked to higher empathy and emotional intelligence in kids, because it helps them imagine what others feel and think.

Why play helps

Play is a child’s natural language. Through play, they :

• act out real-life situations (sharing, conflict, saying goodbye)
• process scary or confusing events
• experiment with different responses and outcomes

Studies on play-based learning show that play helps children develop social and emotional skills, resilience, and coping strategies—especially when adults join in gently and supportively.

In other words: stories and play aren’t just “extra.” They’re powerful ways to help little ones understand their inner world.

2. Choose the Right Books (Without Overthinking It)

You do not need to buy an entire new bookshelf of “feelings books” (unless you want to 😉). Start with what you have and add slowly.

What to look for

Try to include books that :

• show clear emotions on characters’ faces
• include common kid challenges, like :
  • waiting
  • sharing
  • being afraid
  • being left out
  • a new sibling
• show characters coping (taking a breath, talking to a grown-up, apologizing)

You can also look for books that match what your child is going through—starting preschool, a move, a new baby, big tantrums, etc. Librarians are amazing at helping with this.

A little tip

You don’t always need a “feelings book” for a feelings talk. Even a simple story about animals or silly characters works if you pause and ask:

• “How do you think he feels right now?”
• “She looks sad—how can you tell?”

The goal isn’t a perfect book. It’s a little window into feelings.

3. Turn Story Time into Feelings Time (Without Making It Heavy)

Now let’s talk about how to actually use books to teach emotional skills—without turning bedtime into a therapy session.

Before you read

Ask a quick, playful question :

• “What do you think this story will be about?”
• “What do you think might make this character feel happy or sad?”

It warms up their brain to think about feelings.

While you read

Pause occasionally (you don’t have to stop at every page!) :

• “Look at his face—how do you think he feels?”
• “If you were this character, what would you do?”
• “What do you think will happen next?”

You’re helping your child :

• notice body language
• connect situations with feelings
• practice perspective-taking

After you read

Ask 1–2 simple questions :

• “When did the character feel sad? What helped?”
• “Did you ever feel like that? What did you do?”

Keep it light. If they don’t want to talk, that’s okay. You’re planting seeds.

4. Use Characters to Talk About Tough Feelings (Instead of Calling Them Out)

One of my favorite things about Using Books and Play to Teach Emotional Skills is that it gives us a “buffer.”

Instead of saying,

“Remember when you hit your brother earlier?”

You can say,

“Wow, this character got so mad he hit his friend. Why do you think he did that? What else could he do next time?”

You’re :

• talking about behavior without shaming your child
• exploring better choices in a safe, low-pressure way
• helping them see that other kids struggle too

When the moment is right, you can gently connect it back:

“That reminds me of when you were really mad earlier and hit. What could you try next time instead?”

Books give you a way to “depersonalize” the situation so your child doesn’t feel attacked—but still gets the message.

5. Bring the Story to Life : Act It Out in Play

This is where the magic really kicks in—turning stories into play.

After reading a book (right away or another day), try :

1. Puppet or stuffed animal play

Use dolls, stuffed animals, or puppets to re-create a scene :

• “Let’s pretend this bunny is mad because his block tower fell. What could he do?”
• “Show me what his face looks like when he’s sad.”

Let your child lead. If they want to make the character scream or stomp, that’s okay—this is how they process feelings. You can then gently guide :

“Bunny is so mad. What could help him feel better? A hug? A breath? Telling his mom?”

2. Switch roles

Let your child be the grown-up and you be the upset character :

“I’m so mad, I want to throw everything!”

Let them comfort you or give suggestions. Kids love being the helper and it lets them practice empathy and problem-solving in a playful, low-stakes way.

3. “Change the ending” game

Ask :

• “What if the character tried something different at the end?”
• “Can we act out a new ending where they ask for help instead of yelling?”

You’re helping them imagine new options for real life.

6. Use Everyday Play to Practice Emotional Skills

You don’t always need a book first. Regular, everyday play is full of opportunities to explore feelings.

Pretend play

When your child plays “house,” “school,” “doctor,” or “superheroes,” you’ll often see emotional themes pop up :

• someone gets hurt
• someone says no
• someone gets left out

Instead of interrupting, you can:

• quietly observe
• join in gently :
  • “Oh no, the doll looks sad—what happened?”
  • “This stuffed animal is scared of the dark. How can we help him?”

This helps your child :

• name emotions
• practice comforting and problem-solving
• see themself as capable and kind

Simple games with emotional twists

You can turn classic games into “feelings practice” :

• Simon Says (Feelings Edition)
  • “Simon says, show me a happy face.”
  • “Simon says, show me an angry face.”
  • “Simon says, show me a scared body.”
• If You’re Happy and You Know It (Feelings Remix)
  • “If you’re angry and you know it, take a breath.”
  • “If you’re scared and you know it, get a hug.”

Silly? Yes. Effective? Also yes. Kids remember actions tied to feelings.

7. Add Creative Expression : Draw, Build, and Move the Feelings

Some kids aren’t big talkers—but they are big builders, scribblers, and dancers.

You can use art and movement as emotional outlets :

Drawing feelings

• “Can you draw what ‘mad’ looks like?”
• “What color is ‘sad’ for you?”
• “Draw a time you felt really proud.”

You don’t need to interpret the picture like a therapist. Just be curious:

• “Tell me about your picture.”

Research suggests that creative activities like drawing and storytelling can support emotional understanding and self-expression in children.

Building feelings

Use blocks or LEGO :

• “Build a tower of things that make you happy.”
• “Build a ‘calm-down’ place.”

Let them explain it if they want. You’re helping them represent feelings in a safe, concrete way.

8. Make It a Gentle Routine (Not Another Thing on Your To-Do List)

You might be thinking,
“This all sounds great… but I barely survive our evenings as it is.”

Totally valid. The good news? You don’t have to do everything, and you don’t have to do it every day.

Here are some simple ways to weave Using Books and Play to Teach Emotional Skills into what you’re already doing :

At bedtime

• Pick one “feelings question” after a story:
  • “Who felt sad in the story?”
  • “What made them feel better?”

In the car

• Ask, “If you were a character in a story about today, what feeling would you have—happy, mad, tired, silly?”

On weekends

• After reading a book, spend 5–10 minutes acting out one scene with toys.
• Play “feelings Simon Says” or “If You’re Happy and You Know It” remix.

On hard days

• When emotions run high, you can say :
  • “Let’s pick a book about someone who felt mad/sad/scared and see what they did.”

None of this has to be perfect or daily. Think of it as a toolbox you can reach for when you have a little extra energy.

9. Expert Insight : Why This Matters Long-Term

All this play and storytelling might look simple, but it’s doing big work in your child’s brain and heart.

• Reviews of research show that reading fiction is connected with greater empathy and emotional understanding in children and teens.
• Studies on play-based learning show that play can build social-emotional skills, coping strategies, and resilience—especially for children under stress.
• Social-emotional learning in early childhood is linked with better mental health, behavior, and even academic outcomes later on.

But you don’t need to remember the statistics. Here’s what it means in everyday mom language:

When you curl up with a book and talk about feelings…
When you get on the floor and act out a story with stuffed animals…
And, When you sing silly emotion songs and draw “angry monsters” together…

…you’re not just passing time. You’re helping your child:

• understand themself
• understand others
• handle life’s ups and downs a little more smoothly

That’s huge.

Encouragement : You Don’t Need to Be a Teacher to Do This 💛

Mama, you don’t need a degree in child psychology, a Pinterest-perfect activity bin, or a library of specialty books to support your child’s emotional world.

You already have the most important pieces:

• your voice
• your presence
• your willingness to sit with them in their feelings

If you read one story tonight and ask just one feelings question…
If you spend five minutes acting out a scene with stuffed animals this weekend…

You’re doing it. You’re Using Books and Play to Teach Emotional Skills in a way that fits your real life.

You won’t see instant results every time. There will still be meltdowns, slammed doors, and “I DON’T LIKE YOU” moments. But slowly, quietly, your child is learning the language of feelings—and learning that they’re not alone in them.

You’re doing better than you think. Truly. 🌼

Share Your Favorite Story or Game

I’d love to hear from you :

👉 What’s one book or game that has helped your child talk about their feelings—or that you would like to try after reading this?

Share it in the comments—another mama might be on the hunt for exactly that idea today. 💬

And if you’d like more gentle parenting tips, emotional skill-building ideas, and cozy encouragement straight to your inbox, make sure to join my email list. We’ll keep learning, reading, and playing our way through big feelings together. 💌